For about a year I devoted a forum to the URL dearsupportcocksuckers.com. Due to lack of interest/advertisement/return visitors, etc... I quit and let it expire on Feb. 2 of this year. This shit is STILL funny though, so I'm going to include it here for longevity. All it is supposed to be is flame mail to technical support. Sometimes... depending on the company... I'll send them the actual message... with or without the profanity... depending. And while I won't change the posts, I'm titling the forum "Dear Support Cocksmokers" instead of "Dear Support Cocksuckers". I made this decision after sending my brother-in-law an e-mail from the old domain while verifying his spam filter was truly off (he didn't believe me)... and reading the URL, he came to the conclusion that I was gay. My sister read nearly every single post before determining that it was a joke. Unbelievable. Not that it has ever been called to question until that very moment, but even if it had... COULD YOU NOT JUST ASK???
Anyway, this is a standard form letter for reply to nearly every technical support department that I have ever had to deal with:
Dear support cocksuckers,
I appreciate you taking the time to unload another pile of bullshit on top of the issue I initially contacted you about. My issue is now so coated with your shit, that I can no longer see it. This method of smelly distraction has in no way resolved the initial issue, but I no longer care as my remaining problem is trying to get the stench out of my room.
Thank you for not concerning yourselves with any problem I mentioned, and instead spewing forth segments of useless information entirely unrelated to my issue. There is nothing more enjoyable to me than reading form mail, you truly made my day. I spent a considerable amount of time researching the issue, trying to locate other users with the same issue, digging through manuals and help files in an effort to describe to you in detail exactly what the problems were, and why the current resources lacked an answer. In turn, I recieved a copy/pasted three line reply... and as much fun as that was to recieve, I only beg of you the following information: is there a quicker method to recieving your reply? I will not waste needless time on my query when all I really want is your expedient form response. Also, if you have - within your company - some kind of mailing list that I can subscribe to in order to recieve these truly worthless responses, I would very much like to.
Your favorite x-customer,
mr_coffee
PS... I banged your mom last night.
