Ok, after a couple of beers... I have to bug you.


Seriously?  No clue what you mean by "cross-functional teams through wireframes" even means.  Your own home page has 13 errors.  I stopped after your first row of designed sites, none of which validate.  So where did you even find your "standards"... as none of those sites validate by w3.org/508 standards.

I realize you had no idea that I CODE, and am not a hiring MORON.  Still, advertising experience with Dreamweaver is bad form.  You can't do that AND advertise "standards", or didn't you know that?  Oh, were you not aware that Adobe couldn't html their way out of a paper bag?  Clearly, your 9+ years experince has taught you JACK SHIT.

Your Jr. High skills mean nothing to me.  I'm glad you didn't join the site.  I'd have hated to of put you in your place in front of other members.  It's brand new and small for now.  I'll be sure to alert admins that people like you exist and have no place here.  If I were a hiring corporation, I'd have set fire to your resume on your porch.

All said, your graphics skills aren't bad.  Had you only approached me advertising that skill instead of one you don't have, I'd have been interested.  Thanks for not persuing anything.

Your favorite ex-interest for illegitimate income,
mr_coffee

I got your publication today.  I hate to break it to you: but positive thinking does NOT reduce diabetic complications.  Curing diabetes reduces diabetic complications!  I also have no need for a tester with a flag on it to remind people that I'm an American diabetic.  While your publication was cute and all, it had no useful information.  It was - in fact - just propaganda put there to try to lure me into purchasing more testing supplies, and I'm not falling for it.  I wouldn't need testing supplies if you'd get off your asses and do something other than marketing new products for "treatment" of a disease that has been all but curable for the last decade.  I hate you all, please remove me from your mailing list.

Your favorite ex-customer,
mr_coffee

PS... I'd have banged someone in your family but thanks to you and all the other companies designing more expensive shit for me to buy instead of ridding our planet of the illness... I just wasn't in the mood.

*I'm leaving the name out as this is just a personal rant.  A vent had to happen after this experience.

You know what?  Forget it.  I don't care if you grant me the other process or two to use or not, even if I did invest 5 hours over the course of two days to help you validate your web code... which would have only taken me an hour and a half to do on my own.  No $20 a year upgrade is worth you turning around to request that I now rewrite... rather WRITE all the text for your website - as you barely have any content currently - with a possible promise of possible future upgrades as a form of payment, particularly when you clearly have no idea what terms you even want to rank highly for.

Furthermore, I have no intention of producing text for you to copy and paste for you to fail to do that properly and have you inquire "how about now?" instead of just LOOKING to see if it worked.  This is your site, not mine; you should have a more vested interest... and possibly an attention span better than a gnat's in order to complete a project of this magnitude.  When I offer additional text for an existing sentence on a page we're discussing, you should not have to ask "where would I put this?"  I wasted my time trying to teach you anything as you have clearly learned nothing, and I don't have the time nor patience to explain to you where the page description is again, nor how it differs from keywords... again.

But after listening to you and the rest of your staff complain about lack of funds after I waited over a week for you to get one server up and running again, one thing is crystal clear to me at this point: you've misrepresented your positions as being an actual "company".  You guys are resellers.  It explains everything.  For four times what I paid you for my one service (which is hardly worth mentioning), I could set up my own reseller account, build my own damn site, and put you guys on the permanent "suck" list.  I'll wait out the rest of my paid for time while I set up a duplicate service on sh3lls.net.  It'll be fun to have the expanded botnet for a minute.

My response is not due to your downtime - though that didn't help.  I think it was your inability to get the server to run for more than five minutes at a time for two days straight that really added the last straw... the second to last being your ingratitude for my assistance.  But there's no way I'm going to continue to hand-hold you if you're either that dense, doesn't pay attention, or simply doesn't care for the next month or so just so you can rank higher than the real companies out there when you've given me every reason to not like you.

You could have offered me a vps or something... should have been offering a dedicated box for the job.  But I get it... that actually does cost you money because you have to BUY it first.  You suck.  Ask for help again, I won't do it.  I am in fact... strongly considering becoming your competition.  If you guys... knowledgeable in just about nothing... can get away with it, then I could kick your asses.

And if this post ranks higher than your site does... it won't surprise me.

Started getting a lot of new member registrations... most were spam.  Might have been the fault of the old version.  I deleted ALL accounts.  As no one has made a post, shouldn't be a big deal.  If your account was removed and you're human, set up another one.  If your account has been removed and you aren't human... you might have difficulty setting up a new one... which was the idea.

After much consideration: a full-featured site.  The first of its kind, and the only one in the industry that validates XHTML Strict, is SEO Optimized, and is so saturated with feature-rich media and information.  It will be fun to watch this site crush their competition in page rank over the next few months.  Apparently there was an SEO company extorting Meridian Music for some time, but after investigating I found that they provided bogus reports and failed to register the site with several major search engines.  With this added to their marketing arsenal, they're well on their way to being the number one result for all things music related.  Hope they don't mind some out of town business

http://meridianmusic.com

...in the same respect that "furries" are cute (See XKCD 471).  Yeah, I'm anti-mac... but primarily from a financial perspective.  It's like buying Nike's over Rebok's to me -- except instead of $100 difference there's a $1000 diffference, and I have to change the brand of my socks to match.  So once you've acclimated yourself to THAT Koolaid, why in the FUCK would you EVER try to convince me you're not some sort of "fan boy"?  Oh it's better! -- No, it's the same, just $1000 more.  Well, my SOCKS are better -- no, they aren't... they mimic both the most competitive Adidas (Windows) AND Rebok (Linux) equivalent version of the same, with no added feature except to more efficiently deal with the Nike Air pocket -- referencing QuickTime here - bear with me.

So... enter the MacBook Air: the first -- or so I believe -- Nike product that will allow you to use Adidas socks while wearing.  Adidas socks wearers find the new Nike Airs to be restricting with not enough air flow (connectivity) but can't deny that the aluminum coating they come in are far more durable than the leather (plastic) that they're used to even if they can't run as fast while wearing them.  As Rebok sock wearers don't care what shoes they're wearing, they remain unaffected.

Enter the Samsung X360 (Airwalk?).  More airflow than any manufacturer can shake a stick at -- without trembling in fear in any case -- disregarding Nike socks entirely since they look just like all the other socks out there.  As Nike is still scrambling to catch up, we can expect the equivalent in under 6 months for at least -- as usual -- $1K more with a few vents removed.  The magnesium alloy coating puts all predecessors to shame -- at least as far as durability is concerned.  And Nike certainly never considered Silver Nano Technology to reduce foot bacteria.

But all this: the speed, the comfortability... that this shoe makes the air pocket a mute point if it didn't do a better job of emulating it than the original Nike Air... Nike - whose primary campaign for the last ... since the inception of the company ... has been to dig on Adidas shoes - its users' primary complaint for the Airwalk's supporters appears to be that their kneejerk response is to take a stab at Nike's aluminum clad shoe.  If that's your defense for being a furry, so be it.  But please don't try to avoid the title by further justifying my use of the title.

View the "Fan Boy" Mac discussion as it gets increasingly idiotic here.

According to the commercials, I blog inappropriately.  I'll never get a job because future employers will read everything I have to say - using the way back machine or whatever - to gain acess to my posts.  This is me caring: look at me go.  In any case, to learn about the "ten rules of the internet", I visited SafeConnects.org... only to find that there were no ten rules.  Instead, here are the first ten as reported by /b/... in text form:

1) Do not talk about /b/
2) Do NOT talk about /b/
3) We are Anonymous
4) Anonymous is legion
5) Anonymous never forgives
6) Anonymous can be a horrible, uncaring master
7) Anonymous is still able to deliver
There are no real rules about posting
9) There are no real rules about moderation either - enjoy your ban
10) If you enjoy any rival sites, DON'T.

More importantly, a segment of rules seen in this list which are more important than anything any infomercial can tell you about net saftey:

20) Nothing is to be taken seriously.

Possibly most important, also:

30) There are no girls on the internet.

And:

34) There is porn of it, no exceptions.

Furthermore:

35) If no porn is found at the moment, it will be made.
36) There will always be even more fucked up shit than what you just saw.
42) Nothing is sacred.

To expand on that: your childhood will be taken advanatage of and exploited, hence rule 43:

43) The more beautiful and pure a thing is - the more satisfying it is to corrupt it.

And of course,

46) There is furry porn of it.

Now... KNOWING THIS!  Accepting that these rules exist as the unofficial but well accepted "rules" of the internet... if you TRUST what you read HERE as gospel... or as anything other than entertainment... you deserve whatever harm comes to you.  I reiterate: you all but asked me to set fire to your car, and my god have mercy on your soul, for no one else with an AIM id will.

If you must turn to a site like NetLiteracy.org looking for ten rules that will save your life... log off now, and don't ever EVER come back... no firewall will save you from your stupidity, no antivirus program is suited to irradicate your brain of lunacy.  You are doomed, and should never approach a computer again for the rest of your mortal life.  The only antivirus that will work for you will be the removal of electricity.  You are doomed.  Get out, get out now.  You are beyond salvage.  RUN!  GET OUT NOW!

If you are still reading you are either irreparably stupid or not in the category mentioned above.  If you are of the former... seriously, I'm just going to keep making fun of you, GET LOST!  If you are of the latter... you don't have to believe everything you read.  Note that the way back machine only archives the sites you allow google to index.  No, you don't have the option to "opt out" of this so-called "service" if you use myspace, but if you're using myspace I put you into the former category in which case you should GET OUT NOW!  Or... write only resume letters in your blog.  Or ditch myspace and opt for an actual blog.  Seriously, what did you THINK would happen?  If you can search for yourself and your friends there... well... DOOMED!  Not bright at least.

The Net Literacy campaigne wants to tell you - by way of commercials only - that some sites are fake.  This is true.  If you did not know this, then you are either 7 years old or an idiot.  Either way, their message isn't really directed towards you since they left out the 10 rule link on their home page.  They also want to promote made up words like "Netiquette" which roughly translates to the definition of the "Golden Rule"... which means if you're NOT seven years old, you don't have any idea what that is.  Since the "10 rules" aren't linked to on the home page of this site, no one has any idea what the golden rule is, so treat everyone like equal amounts of shit.  That appears to be the underlying message.  So long as you do this and expect the same treatment from everyone you meet, you're unlikely to get emotionally injured from online confrontations.  If there's an exception like a seven year old aware of the "golden rule"?  Log off before they report you as a child molester.  This is usually the best recourse in all situations.  Particularly if you're using AOL, in which case they've logged all the spam you've received promoting porn already, and are on their way to your house as we speak to voice grievances about your breach of the Terms of Service.

All you need to know about the internet and personal protection are contained in two statements: "there are no girls on the internet", and "there is porn about it".  By now you've supposedly witnessed "girls" on the internet.  Given that they are NOT girls and you've been LIED to... everything else is called to question.  Since "there is porn about it" and "it" encompasses EVERYTHING... well... there is some twisted shit going on at all times.  Keep these two things in mind, and that there's "homeland security" to make your life a living hell... welp... you should be able to keep yourself out of trouble.  But pretty much if it's not an instruction manual on how to rip movies or music, it's probably made up... and not all of the guys offering those tutorials can even DO it right... Look, keep these things in mind, you'll be fine.  If someone says "how do I download it?"  Then it's probably not legal, and that person is a moron.

You have to weed through the bullshit to find an ounce of truth.  How is this ANY different from ANY other aspect of life?  Unless you are seven, you have no excuse.  Even our own history books and religious texts are riddled with BULLSHIT.  Any college educated person SHOULD be able to tell you that.  You get what you have coming to you.  When you utilize a blog site that you used google to locate a friend with to start describing your drug habits in intricate detail as if it were a "private" diary, you'll get what you deserve.  And if you start taking other authors' opinions to heart who write like this... without conducting any research on these idiots... and then take action on those writings... like forming permanent opinions... commiting crimes or even committing suicide?  Welp, the world could of used one less of you as there's one born every minute, anyway.  But next time strap a bomb to your chest and find the author's house first, because DAMN!  I'm not for idiots taking over the population but I'm DEFINITELY not for idiots impacting other idiots opinions of themselves unless those idiots are going to take vengeance on the idiots that proliferated that madness.  I feel sorry for none of you morons, but feel sorry for everyone else who has to listen to similar banter after your passing.  Do the world a favor and off both of you if you're going take that much trouble.  It's the LEAST you can do, you listened to that bullshit.  I'm not going to.  No one I know is going to.  If you're going to.. seriously, get preemptive vengeance.  At least that way I and anyone else with interest in common sense can quietly chuckle about the victory.  Otherwise, think for yourself: make your own decisions.  Realize it's all bullshit you have to weed through, that crap included.  If you can't do that, you need to log off, and yesterday.  The internet is a too emotionally volatile place for you.  It gives every idiot a voice they wouldn't otherwise have.  And the population is QUITE large.  There are more idiots HERE than any one physical location.  It's obnoxious.  If you cannot read through that, you are doomed: GET OUT.

You must exist above the din of idiocy, not within.  If you can't: find another venue.  If you can... by all means let us take up axes and find these morons' wireless routers and destroy them.  But if you're unable to make a joke of shit like that, you do not belong here.  That is the only advice you need to use the internet.  Fuck netliteracy.org.  They didn't even build their site correctly.  Validator.w3.org reports: 58 errors on their home page alone.  Net literacy: my ass.

You guys aren't making this easy.

I've banned a truckload of spambots from all of my sites.  No, not spiders: SPAM BOTS.  The only spider I killed off was this music playlist one because I did a favor for someone one day and hosted a song, and that idiot put it on their playlist.  That playlist site... still thinks it's here and I was still getting server errors - months and months later - every time someone loaded up a myspace profile or whatever.  Never again, I can tell you that.

Anyway, I have blocked myspace and any site with the word "playlist" in it as a referrer.   I've furthermore blocked every one trying to access an mp3 that wasn't already browsing my site.

I've created a couple of error pages so that I can stop seeing the "file does not exist" error when referencing those error pages.  And to hopefully keep them from being needed at all, I've put in a few redirects that should keep their display to a bare minimum.

The e-mail thing... after an additional upgrade to cPanel... still does not work consistently.  Failed again at the end of the business day yesterday... a short window wherein 4 spam messages got BoxTrapped.  So... still no answer to that one.  At least SpamAssassin is worthless for a lot shorter period of a time during a 24 hour period than it used to be.  I'd swap hosts, but everyone is having this problem.  I wish someone was working on a real world solution instead of saying "submit a ticket!"  Because my hosts have obviously submitted a ticket, and this "upgrade" was obviously the solution, and your shit still doesn't work.

The only thing more frustrating than contacting technical support is when that department has to contact technical support.

If you use CPanel on your web server, there's a setting you should be aware of:  Under e-mail it's called "E-mail Authentication".  Both of the setting available there SHOULD be enabled by default, but the makers of the software... are silly.  Enable both of these, it will help a lot.

This forum would have been spammed the mess out of this morning.  22 users?  There wasn't one real human being out of all that.  Forcing logins on a SimpleMachine forum also works wonders.  Make sure you request the image verification.

SpamAssassin has been hit or miss lately... mysteriously showing up without scores in the headers.  I'm HOPING that my hosts fixed the issue, but the two settings I mentioned above may have solved everything, I really don't know.  Haven't seen a wave hit since.

The only thing I'd like to know is why the SUDDEN INTEREST from the spam bots?  Why now?  Have anything to do with my sites being more search engine friendly with their XHTML compliance?  That doesn't explain one of my customer's since he doesn't even HAVE a site.  Just an e-mail... and it isn't listed anywhere.  Stranger and stranger.

I didn't come up with this one: http://webreflection.blogspot.com/2007/09/noscript-problems-just-fixed.html

This method appears to work perfectly on a flat html file, but my sites are done in php now and so it doesn't work for me.  I'm efforting a work-around.  I understand this method nearly entirely except the need for multiple "session_start()"'s.  Especially since my site is already php... I do believe my session has already started by the time it gets to a point where she requested a session_start().  I definitely like this better than the cookie method.  The cookie method WILL FAIL if the user doesn't have cookies enabled, and there's the side effect of an infinite loop in nearly every iteration I've seen of this method since the coder in question almost never considers that.  But here's the thing: your client is capable of viewing JavaScript.  If your client is NOT viewing JavaScript they've disabled it.  If they had the foresight to disable JavaScript, it is highly unlikely that they allowed cookies.  Using session variables is a nice work around since the values will be stored as cookies if cookies are allowed... and sent as query strings if they are not.  Handled entirely server side, and no one has to know.  It's a good method.

I reiterate: everyone can view JavaScript.  Forget that whole bullshit 10% rule.  No such thing.  There's a 10% that might be utilizing NoScript or may have disabled JavaScript in the browser.  Funny thing though... those browsers still perform JavaScript.  Even with NoScript active.  I've tested.  So the options are some really ugly inline code that WILL run, or we can pretend that what the browser says is true and attempt to have the page degrade nicely.  For flat html files, the solution is pretty simple... make three files:

index.htm:

cssFilter.php:

myPage.php:

The above is a rather elegant work-around to using <noscript> in the head since that no longer validates.  Unfortunately, since I'm building my head WITH php, the calls aren't made... at least not quickly enough.  The session variable does not get set.  I tried to inline some of it and found that it would always throw on the javascript disabled version of css, so... no dice.  What I'll end up doing is just combining the default version of the css and redeclare a lot of css if js is enabled.

The way I built my site though: I'm assembling the navigation menu with CSS and javascript.  Two versions of CSS, one for a 1024x768 or larger screen, the other for an 800x600 screen.  I need javascript to detect the resolution.  So if JavaScript isn't available for use, I'd like to revert to the larger CSS version... force those kids to have to scroll, fine.  But then I also had this nifty effect on the menu elements where they slide in... so really I want the CSS to make the elements "hidden" until they slide in as well.  Now I could default to the larger version... load the smaller version with javascript if it's available... but that means the small screen people will have to load both versions of the graphics and will have a second or two delay while that happens.  But the other down side of not having the help of the above method is that I can't have the elements hidden by default since they'll only be made visible again by javascript.  So even WITH javascript enabled the menu items will be visible in their final homes for a moment before vanishing and then sliding back in.  So, gross.  I noticed that in browsers other than IE, it happens so quickly you can't see it.  I don't mean blink and you'll miss it... I mean... it never happened.  It's THAT fast.  Except when the resize is necessary... then it starts to look pretty ugly.  I've got to get the timing down for IE and for smaller screens yet.  A method like the above would help with that... the trick will be to get it working on a php site.  I've asked the genius who came up with it for suggestions but haven't heard anything yet.  I'll be doing some experimentation of my own.  Stay tuned.