According to the commercials, I blog inappropriately.  I'll never get a job because future employers will read everything I have to say - using the way back machine or whatever - to gain acess to my posts.  This is me caring: look at me go.  In any case, to learn about the "ten rules of the internet", I visited SafeConnects.org... only to find that there were no ten rules.  Instead, here are the first ten as reported by /b/... in text form:

1) Do not talk about /b/
2) Do NOT talk about /b/
3) We are Anonymous
4) Anonymous is legion
5) Anonymous never forgives
6) Anonymous can be a horrible, uncaring master
7) Anonymous is still able to deliver
There are no real rules about posting
9) There are no real rules about moderation either - enjoy your ban
10) If you enjoy any rival sites, DON'T.

More importantly, a segment of rules seen in this list which are more important than anything any infomercial can tell you about net saftey:

20) Nothing is to be taken seriously.

Possibly most important, also:

30) There are no girls on the internet.

And:

34) There is porn of it, no exceptions.

Furthermore:

35) If no porn is found at the moment, it will be made.
36) There will always be even more fucked up shit than what you just saw.
42) Nothing is sacred.

To expand on that: your childhood will be taken advanatage of and exploited, hence rule 43:

43) The more beautiful and pure a thing is - the more satisfying it is to corrupt it.

And of course,

46) There is furry porn of it.

Now... KNOWING THIS!  Accepting that these rules exist as the unofficial but well accepted "rules" of the internet... if you TRUST what you read HERE as gospel... or as anything other than entertainment... you deserve whatever harm comes to you.  I reiterate: you all but asked me to set fire to your car, and my god have mercy on your soul, for no one else with an AIM id will.

If you must turn to a site like NetLiteracy.org looking for ten rules that will save your life... log off now, and don't ever EVER come back... no firewall will save you from your stupidity, no antivirus program is suited to irradicate your brain of lunacy.  You are doomed, and should never approach a computer again for the rest of your mortal life.  The only antivirus that will work for you will be the removal of electricity.  You are doomed.  Get out, get out now.  You are beyond salvage.  RUN!  GET OUT NOW!

If you are still reading you are either irreparably stupid or not in the category mentioned above.  If you are of the former... seriously, I'm just going to keep making fun of you, GET LOST!  If you are of the latter... you don't have to believe everything you read.  Note that the way back machine only archives the sites you allow google to index.  No, you don't have the option to "opt out" of this so-called "service" if you use myspace, but if you're using myspace I put you into the former category in which case you should GET OUT NOW!  Or... write only resume letters in your blog.  Or ditch myspace and opt for an actual blog.  Seriously, what did you THINK would happen?  If you can search for yourself and your friends there... well... DOOMED!  Not bright at least.

The Net Literacy campaigne wants to tell you - by way of commercials only - that some sites are fake.  This is true.  If you did not know this, then you are either 7 years old or an idiot.  Either way, their message isn't really directed towards you since they left out the 10 rule link on their home page.  They also want to promote made up words like "Netiquette" which roughly translates to the definition of the "Golden Rule"... which means if you're NOT seven years old, you don't have any idea what that is.  Since the "10 rules" aren't linked to on the home page of this site, no one has any idea what the golden rule is, so treat everyone like equal amounts of shit.  That appears to be the underlying message.  So long as you do this and expect the same treatment from everyone you meet, you're unlikely to get emotionally injured from online confrontations.  If there's an exception like a seven year old aware of the "golden rule"?  Log off before they report you as a child molester.  This is usually the best recourse in all situations.  Particularly if you're using AOL, in which case they've logged all the spam you've received promoting porn already, and are on their way to your house as we speak to voice grievances about your breach of the Terms of Service.

All you need to know about the internet and personal protection are contained in two statements: "there are no girls on the internet", and "there is porn about it".  By now you've supposedly witnessed "girls" on the internet.  Given that they are NOT girls and you've been LIED to... everything else is called to question.  Since "there is porn about it" and "it" encompasses EVERYTHING... well... there is some twisted shit going on at all times.  Keep these two things in mind, and that there's "homeland security" to make your life a living hell... welp... you should be able to keep yourself out of trouble.  But pretty much if it's not an instruction manual on how to rip movies or music, it's probably made up... and not all of the guys offering those tutorials can even DO it right... Look, keep these things in mind, you'll be fine.  If someone says "how do I download it?"  Then it's probably not legal, and that person is a moron.

You have to weed through the bullshit to find an ounce of truth.  How is this ANY different from ANY other aspect of life?  Unless you are seven, you have no excuse.  Even our own history books and religious texts are riddled with BULLSHIT.  Any college educated person SHOULD be able to tell you that.  You get what you have coming to you.  When you utilize a blog site that you used google to locate a friend with to start describing your drug habits in intricate detail as if it were a "private" diary, you'll get what you deserve.  And if you start taking other authors' opinions to heart who write like this... without conducting any research on these idiots... and then take action on those writings... like forming permanent opinions... commiting crimes or even committing suicide?  Welp, the world could of used one less of you as there's one born every minute, anyway.  But next time strap a bomb to your chest and find the author's house first, because DAMN!  I'm not for idiots taking over the population but I'm DEFINITELY not for idiots impacting other idiots opinions of themselves unless those idiots are going to take vengeance on the idiots that proliferated that madness.  I feel sorry for none of you morons, but feel sorry for everyone else who has to listen to similar banter after your passing.  Do the world a favor and off both of you if you're going take that much trouble.  It's the LEAST you can do, you listened to that bullshit.  I'm not going to.  No one I know is going to.  If you're going to.. seriously, get preemptive vengeance.  At least that way I and anyone else with interest in common sense can quietly chuckle about the victory.  Otherwise, think for yourself: make your own decisions.  Realize it's all bullshit you have to weed through, that crap included.  If you can't do that, you need to log off, and yesterday.  The internet is a too emotionally volatile place for you.  It gives every idiot a voice they wouldn't otherwise have.  And the population is QUITE large.  There are more idiots HERE than any one physical location.  It's obnoxious.  If you cannot read through that, you are doomed: GET OUT.

You must exist above the din of idiocy, not within.  If you can't: find another venue.  If you can... by all means let us take up axes and find these morons' wireless routers and destroy them.  But if you're unable to make a joke of shit like that, you do not belong here.  That is the only advice you need to use the internet.  Fuck netliteracy.org.  They didn't even build their site correctly.  Validator.w3.org reports: 58 errors on their home page alone.  Net literacy: my ass.