but not if you can't afford it. I will beat this topic to death over time because... well... I'm rather tired of feeling like shit. Nothing can really be done about it though.

I know I mentioned awhile back: my insulin stopped being manufactured. Instead of attempting to get service at some sort of clinic at the time, I went from pharmacy to pharmacy, buying up whatever remaining bottles of UltraLente the pharmacy still had on hand that weren't expired. Since a bottle could last around a month, I rather effectively kept my sugars at a semi-reasonable level for almost a year. This is good, because I hate doctors. BUT... sort of came to a road block... not too many non-expired bottles left, and of course they were becoming much harder to find.

I finally got into a clinic after being jobless for something like a solid month. Diabetes doesn't qualify as "disabled", so neither Social Security nor Medicaid had any help to offer me. Sure... I'll be dead without medication, but apparently until I am dead (or have lost all of my extremities due to complications), the government doesn't care to offer any assistance. There's a Wishard Advantage program available for those unemployed/underemployed like me... so I got back into that.

I've already done my research. I KNOW that the alternative to the UltraLente/Regular mix I had been taking was Lantis and Humolog. But... different levels of care for different levels of income. Until I got into the clinic, I didn't know NPH was still being made. That's at least as old as Lente, I think. UltraLente was an upgrade to that. But they don't know anything, so they put me on the same dose I'd been on with the other, not having a clue that it is about half the potency. So for the last week or so I've been trying desperately to modify my dose to something that won't put me into a hyperglocemic coma overnight. But this is like going back to the dark ages for me... this crap is as effective as the first medication I was ever on. NPH peaks high and quickly, and wears off far too quickly in comparison to UltraLente which was designed to not have much of a peak... and meant to last many hours longer.

As a result, I have a tendency to drop dangerously low twice a day: a few hours after dinner and breakfast... but the fun part is that needing some sort of snack to rid myself of the shakes means extremely high blood sugar on waking up and around lunch time, putting me right back into the category of "brittle diabetic" from back in the days when I was diagnosed about 20 years ago. Oh how far medical science has come

It seems that since I cannot afford the insured method of treatment, which is the "better" insulin that costs three times as much and is administered three times as often, I'll quickly die due to complications that appear to be an intentional side effect of low income care. Of course, this is ideal since feeling like crap all the time is perfect for showing up on time to any sort of work or job interviews one can get, so it certainly does appear that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Unfortunately, that light is placed of the front of a train labeled "healthcare" and it is coming at me full speed and without brakes intent on running me over.

If you don't think there is some sort of conspiracy here, you're one of the following: a person so healthy you've never had to visit a doctor, a person not living in these United States, or a person involved in said conspiracy. But just you wait. You'll be old one day, and you'll have to rely on medi"care", and then you'll know. And karma is a bitch, and it's not like you didn't have it coming to you or that you weren't fairly warned.